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”“All kidding aside, you knew that was never a sure thing. The ball is truly in her court now. It makes me unhappy, obviously, but in the end, I can’t accept restrictions on who I befriend and to whom and how I witness my faith. Obviously, there are some limits, because as clergy I need to act in public with propriety, but that in no way says I can’t have Clarissa as a close, platonic friend for life. Or that I can’t be friends with Robby and Lee.”“I’ll go back to a question which was asked before — what about Becky?”“Unless you plan to announce it in the church bulletin, what happens between Becky and me is between Becky and me, and my confessor.”Mom nodded, “Indeed it is. Will you see Tasha at Spring Break?”“At church, obviously. Beyond that, as I said, the ball has to be in her court. I’m not going to stop being who I am with regard to my witness. I can’t. And I can’t be an «мудак» to people who are in need of salvation! My goal is to love them, period. To do anything else would be. Slowly and romantically. Andthen we took a bath together afterwards. It was ... pure bliss. ?As the end of the month neared, I knew two things: It would be hard togive up my new life, and I had to do it. Even though I cared for Mariondeeply, I wasn't in love with her. The mystical, flakey stuff wassomething that rubbed me the wrong way no matter what sex I was.Ultimately I needed to become a man again because I was tired ofsuppressing my "Shelley" memories. It was like I was two people in onebody.?So, we retrieved the box, and I put in my wedding band. I'd thought thisthrough thoroughly this time, and wrote it down. This is what I wished:"This time I don't wish to be the member of the opposite sex. I wish tostill be a parent to my kids. I wish that I would be married to my idealmate. My ideal mate must not be flakey or new-agey, but must be grounded.We're in love. I'll be perfectly comfortable in my new role." I kissedMarion goodnight, put on my wedding band, and went to sleep. My.
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